hey guys, sorry for not updating the blog for so long.. well, it's not like anyone cares i guess..haha...
so yeah, i'm back from Bintulu for about 1 month now and started working as a consultant in an engineering firm. it's my dream job. i mean, after you graduated from engineering school, naturally you would want to work as a consultant, especially if you're a girl and don't want to get dirty and sweaty under the sun.
this job is predictable, routine and stable. this is what i always wanted... or so i thought.
you see, this place where i work, is a place where sitting next to a window is actually a luxury. it's practically a benefit that only engineers or senior draftmen and above can get. do you believe that having a window next to you and being able to look outside for greens and blue sky can make you feel happier? it's not a myth in a place like this. i really appreciate a ray of sunshine to shine through the window and falls on my cold little table. i'm even happier when it begins to rain...here you can only sit at your own place and stare at your work and the same piece of partition in front of you for the whole 8 hours. well that's only for me, if you're sociable enough and like to go around the office and chat with other people once in a while then maybe you can cut that down to 6 or 7 hours. which is not that all impressive.
anyway... what i wanted to say is that, although this office is cold, the people are even cooler. i dont even care if it's proper english to put it this way, but you get my point. their hearts, long exposed in this cold, dark and confined space, have forgotten the warmth of love. this guy, he's been seasoned real well and kept in this freezer for nearly 30 years. and his heart is as hard as a freezing piece of meat. and because he's been living in this freezer for too long, he's forgotten about warmth. he fears heat. he fears being defrost because it makes him soft and vulnerable then anything can come and pierce it or cut it into pieces. so he stays in the freezer to stay strong, to protect himself, and he keeps upholding the belief that staying in the freezer is the only way to survive. he spreads the gospel but he never believe anyone would survive with him. and when every time the freezer door is open, he would kick those innocent young meat to the front, causing them to get defrost and eaten.
so one fine day,
human: frozen meat? wtf! how long have you been here?!
frozen meat: this is the end for me. i never thought it would be so soon...
human: oh frozen meat don't be upset, i will let you die with pride, since you are expired i cant eat you anyway.
so human dumped frozen meat on the floor and it shattered it into pieces. he dies as a hard frozen meat. his upholding prevented him from being eaten. he is proud to be the only piece of meat to die this way.
but how foolish frozen meat was indeed. he never realize that for a meat like him, he was supposed to be eaten. his nutrient was supposed to be absorbed and used for the good of the nature.
well, you know the meaning to this story. it can have many implications depends on how you see it. but if you feel pity for the frozen meat because you feel him, you might be a frozen meat yourself.
eventually, people will learn to protect themselves against the evil of the world. but when it becomes the belief or the principle of your life, you are going a bit too far. it's like, you think your car shell is too soft, so you use diamonds to armour it because diamond is the hardest material in the world, you think i'd be better equip your car with some nuclear weapon so no one dares to come close to you, so no one can damage your car, so no one can harm you. but do you realise that you yourself are putting others in danger while doing so?
you get the point. well, let's see if i'll become a frozen meat one day.
